HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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