I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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