hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
