Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
