Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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