your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
