If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
