.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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