Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize