there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
