Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
