From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
