I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You were trust falling into bushes
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
