So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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