Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
