If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
