I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
