Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
