I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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