He kissed a someone with a penis
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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