Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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