Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
