Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
