this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
