Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
