last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
