Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
