Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
