I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
there is glitter all over my balls
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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