did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize