dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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