How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
