Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
