I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
