For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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