I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize