No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
