Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The power of my boobs compel you
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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