a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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