He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
