we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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