I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
