flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
