I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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