I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
