So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
