So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
