i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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