he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
