I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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