No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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