It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
