She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize