Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
