Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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