I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
