2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
