My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
