Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
