I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize