so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
