I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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