We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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