AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Houston, we have a blender
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
