I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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