I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
