I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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