i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
