you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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