We named our party play list daddy issues
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's never too late to be topless.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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