Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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