i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
