check it out our google latitudes are spooning
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
